The Gift of Tension
I was recently at a work event in Florida, and normally, when I meet up with some of my favorite people, I am flooded with excitement and anticipation for what's to come.
So, it surprised me this time when I showed up a day early to relax and felt anything but relaxed. I felt tense.
So, as I coach my clients to do, I checked in with myself and spent time breathing to regulate my nervous system. And yet, I still felt uneasy. So, I simply allowed it to be present. It wasn’t how I wanted to enter my weekend with my tribe of coaches, and yet I knew that whatever it was there to show me would be revealed in time.
As emotional beings, our feelings are an incredible gift, even when we don't prefer the ones that come knocking. And trying to wish them away or push them aside doesn't work. In fact, most of the time, those feelings just dig their claws in a little deeper, demanding attention. Sometimes, all we can do is sit with the discomfort and feel what's present.
Our emotions are huge teachers when we choose to see them this way. For me, the tension I felt in my body was exactly what I needed to become aware and address what needed to shift to bring myself back to center. Until we become aware, we can't act.
This word "tension" came up a lot over the weekend in various ways. You see, without tension, transformation would never happen—it’s the catalyst for change. It's the body's way of saying, "Whoa hold on here! Something is off or out of alignment!" Without tension, our humanness would keep us on autopilot, but we were born to feel and express.
Have you ever come close to being in a car accident or taking a bad fall, and your body immediately tenses? Have you ever been in a conflict that made you feel super uncomfortable? Have you ever really wanted to get out of a situation, but the mere thought of disappointing someone made you feel sick? That's tension! It's the body's way of getting your attention—giving you an opportunity to explore, respond, expand, and grow.
Tension is the state of being stretched. To evolve into the fullest version of ourselves and become the incredible humans we were meant to be—we must stretch!! Otherwise, we would stay in infantile stages of maturity. And stretching is
rarely comfortable.
Tension may be calling you to stretch your physical body, your mind, or your comfort zone. It might be calling you to stretch into the unknown.
So the next time you are feeling tense—whether it's about something in your personal life or the state of the world as a whole—ask yourself:
1. Is this MY tension, or am I picking up on the energy of those around me?
2. If it's mine, what is it here to show me?
3. Is it bringing up feelings that are asking to be felt?
As my weekend progressed, what was needing to be witnessed and felt came to the surface. As I allowed myself to fully experience my emotions— and in this case, cry the tears—the tension subsided. I gained awareness of where I needed to stretch. And it all happened in the company of my incredible community of fellow coaches, who were there to support and love me through it all.
If you are feeling tension, be curious! What is calling for your attention? Is a new response or action needed? Where are you ready to stretch?
"The tension between where you are and where you want to be is the fertile ground for growth" John C. Maxwell